I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
