Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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