Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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