I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
