Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
