This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
