I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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