I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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