Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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