drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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