I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
