Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
