You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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