so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
