I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
