i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
