Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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