U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
