I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
