I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
