Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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