if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
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No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry about my life...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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