if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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