the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize