Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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