What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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