I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
