is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
