drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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