On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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