Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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