just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
