from now on my penis is your penis
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
