i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
