He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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