Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize