overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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