I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
