break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
