Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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