If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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