is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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