She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
