did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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