i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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