What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
