my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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