it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
COCAINE IS GR8
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
