Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
