At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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