If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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