honey bunches of taint.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
