Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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