dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
