I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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