just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize