Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
