Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
