Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
