how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
