Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
