He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
