is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
