there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
