Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize