I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
